Patented Q & A Database
My stepdaughter is very rude to my family when they come to visit, even though they try to be nice.
Her level of maturity and relationship with her biological father are important. She probably sees her stepmother's family as intruders and doesn't accept them. It is important that her father's family remain involved in her life to give it balance.
Children of divorce, deceased parents and remarriage may be confused and uncertain. It may cause angry and sullen behavior. Sometimes children with troubled families talk to classmates, contributing to confusion and doubt. Talking in a normal, calm loving and caring manner will prevail. This behavior is not uncommon but does present a challenge. Love, patience and persistence she can outgrow it, but if it worsens, consider the possibility of professional help.
Posted On 2004-04-04 20:38:51
Parents of blended families need to have a clear understanding that children will feel uncomfortable dealing with the new surroundings of having a new parent. The same will occur with dealing with the new brothers and sisters. Parents need to sit and discuss what can be expected and what will be established as "household rules and expectations" now that the new family has been established.
Stepchildren need to have a real sense of assurance that they are a solid part of the new blended family unit. Parents need to be especially careful so as not to play too much favoritism.
There will always be some occasions when stepchildren will exhibit inappropriate or unacceptable behavior. This is the time to take the time to discuss the inappropriate behavior because there may be other underlying issues that this child may be experiencing. Present the issues of concern in an objecting and caring manner without being to patronizing and/or suggesting that you want to be the child's best friend.
If all else fails, it may be time to seek outside professional help because at times children experience issues far to deep for the family to resolve.
Posted On 2004-04-04 20:25:41
Consider this, both parents should approach her and acknowledge her attitude towards your family. Explain that you know she understands it is not acceptable in your family unit to be rude or hurtful to you guests.
You understand she must be feeling under the weather if she is acting out, so she can feel free to go to bed, if she is not well enough to interact with guests, but she may not remain if she is rude.
When the time comes (and it will) that she is again rude, promptly explain her "under the weather" behavior to them and ask her to go rest in bed until she is feeling up to company (any company).
This calls for a consistent and united front.
Posted On 2004-04-04 18:54:50