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Hello, I need your advice, my 15yr old daughter was caught cheating with her cell phone on a physics test? What punishment other than the groundin, taking away cellphone, tv & computer is left. Any suggestions?


Jack Marcellus Replied: I'm not so sure "punishment" is what you are looking for. Getting to the root cause of why she would feel the need to cheat and educating her on the merits of her honest work moving forward may prove to be more productive. Kids are under enormous pressure to perform and without your help and guidance will be left with other means to succeed.
She may not have been properly prepared or she could be overwhelmed with the work and does not have the confidence to articulate where she really is with this work.
Posted On 2010-03-09 10:19:00
Ashley Hammond Replied: The better question to answer in this situation is why did she cheat? failure to study, does not like the subject, missed lots of school or something else?. If your daughter is generally a good student and studies well, does not go out too much and behaves well in general then the answer is different to that of a daughter that is having problems in other areas of her life such as excessive partying and other distractions. Certain subjects are harder for some than others and the pressure to succeed and not dissapoint may have overcome her rational understanding of the difference between right and wrong, cheating versus not cheating. Discussing this with your daughter and with the school councilors (recommended) is a better first approach. If your daughter has other tests then clearly not allowing her to take her cell phone to school is appropriate. Dependant on your own analysis of the rest of your daughters life and school I would recommend that you investigate counseling outside of school to ensure that you and your daughter are on the right track.
Posted On 2009-05-26 09:13:03
debbie mandel Replied: Instead of sentencing her to a technological free existence, redirect your attention to the "why" of things. Why did she cheat? Perhaps, your daughter feels pressured academically. Perhaps, she is confused and feels lost in this physics class. Explain your value system to her. Open up a discussion about morality and the "emotional cost" of cheating. Let her talk to you and don't interrupt or hurl judgment. Listen and then respond instead of reacting. This kind of dialogue will be more effective in the long run. Meanwhile, check that she is doing her homework and studying for tests. Post a schedule for her and yourself when all her papers and exams are due. This way you can nip the problem in the body and encourage good study habits with the least amount of stress. And while you are at it, manage your own stress levels. When you are in balance, so will your family.
Posted On 2009-05-24 12:40:18
Todd Johnson, JD Replied: Rather than look at what additional punishment might be available I would look at it in another way. You are appropriately upset but once you have gotten past the initial anger and disappointment, sit down with your daughter to have a calm conversation about why she cheated. If you can understand why she did this and let her know why it is inappropriate in an adult conversation I think you will go a long way in addressing this issue. If for instance, she has trouble understanding science and that is why she cheated, then you might discuss options such as a tutor or your helping her with her science homework. If on the other hand, she cheated simply because it was the easy thing to do, you can have a conversation about why the easy route often leads to a bad outcome and even more work. I presume she failed the test so her final grade will look worse simply because she took the easy route. That poor grade might need to be explained when she starts applying to colleges. All because she took the easy option. She is quickly becoming an adult and one of the difficult lessons as an adult is that your actions have consequences, good or bad. And cheating will generally lead to bad consequences like failing a test, losing a job, etc. Children will generally live up to our expectations. If we do not start to treat them like adults at this age then it will often take them longer to grow up. I think that if she understands why this was wrong and that she has damaged her trust with her teacher, her school as well as you, she will be less likely to cheat in the future. Letting children know that we love them even when they make stupid mistakes and disappoint us can be difficult. But by building this relationship and trust they can grow to be responsible adults.
Posted On 2009-04-25 10:45:46
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