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Question
I have a 15 yr old duaghter that lives with her mom. She stays with me 1-2 days a week. I monitor all her INternet traffic and IM and she was told several time I do this.
I recently read 1 of her IMs and she is telling 1 friend that she has gone to 3rd base with another friend.
traffic
She is generally a good kid. What she says in person & what she says in text are 2 different things.
I need advice on how to approach this with her, should I print up the txt messages and show her mother? If I block all her IM then she wold use her phone. I am against cell phone txting, and now I need a way to get her mother onboard as she was the person who got her the phone in the first place.
I feel I am on thin ice but I can't let things go forward, she has a bright future and I dont want to see it ruined.
Thanks
Answer
Replied:
I would definitely bring her mother into the picture and try to work together on this, as caring parents. Invite the mother in without putting her on the defensive or blaming her in any way. Talk about sharing this challenge as your daughter's parents and ask for her suggestions. Then offer yours. This can be a good opportunity to strengthen your relationship with your daughter's Mother and reinforce your co-parenting skills and strategies. Together you can remind your daughter about the values you and Mom both care about in raising an empowered, self-confident daughter.
Rosalind Sedacca, CCT
Posted On 2009-01-17 11:42:17
Replied:
If your daughter knows that you monitor her IM's then it would be ok to ask her what's going on. However, this is a sensitive subject and she probably will not feel comfortable talking to you about it. You can give her some general information from a male perspective, but her mom should talk to her. As parents of a teenager, you and your ex need to be on the same page when it comes to raising your daughter. Start by having a discussion with her mom about different ways to handle these kinds of situations and then approach your daughter with a united front. Neither one of you should be the bad guy.
Posted On 2008-06-29 20:19:00
