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My five-year-old son loves toilet-talk. Nothing is funnier than a poo-poo or bum joke. And if he finds it funny once, you can bet he'll find it funny 20 more times. How do I get him to tone it down?

Pamela Waterman Replied: Think "act mildly, and move on." Don't get mad (I know, it takes patience!) Say, sweetly (through gritted teeth), "We don't say that in this family. Do you want jelly on your peanut-butter?" He'll probably try the words forty times, but when there's no reaction, there's no fun. If he won't change the subject when you do, say, "I'll decide for you" and go on with what you're doing. Another possibility, but only if this works in general, is if you say, "Big boys don't talk that way - they use real words" and remind him of what you prefer he say if he actually needs to use the bathroom.
Posted On 2008-03-17 21:54:29

Norman Hoffman, Ph.D. Replied: Children, as adults, have a difficult time differentiating the lines that should not be crossed when parents "change the rules." For example, sometimes a parent will join in on the fun with the child, and other times the parent may scold him. The child is unable to tell the difference when it is alright to joke around when there are no firm rules for him to abide by. Therefore, I would suggest that parents create firm boundaries when something is funny or not. If it is allowed the first time, then it should be permitted the second and thereafter. Your child may be one that is more difficult to "tone down" and especially need firmer rules.
Posted On 2008-03-17 07:33:59