Patented Q & A Database

I have been babysitting my grandson since he was three months old. Now his mother wants to put him in a child care centre two mornings a week so he can socialize with other kids. I feel, at just 35 months, it would be traumatic to drop him off in an unfamiliar place with strangers. Am I correct?

Bruce Gilberg Replied: All depends on the quality of the day care center and the emotional/social development of the little boy. The opportunity for a curious and tempermentally sound young child to socialize with his peers will not be a trauma. It should be fun and interesting for him. There is some risk to the little boy if the child care workers are inattentive and uneducated about early childhood development. The experience also will be unsatisfying for a child if the play environment is dull and/or physically unappealing. Go observe!
Posted On 2008-03-22 11:33:48

Mary Larson Replied: Depending on what activities are provided at the child care centre, this could be a good thing. Ask his mother how much time would be actively playing, rather than watching television, for example. Also ask her how many teachers are there for how many children. If there is only one teacher for ten children, for example, it might not be a very good place. On the other hand, if there are fewer children per teacher, and the children are playing games, or engaging in outdoor play, this could be a very good experience.
Posted On 2008-03-19 12:34:10

Joan MacMullen Replied: Maybe your daughter could arrange for you to visit the daycare center with her; they should welcome visitors. You may be pleasantly surprised. After having raised five children as a stay-at-home Mom, my husband and I adopted a little girl. Since I now teach school, it was necessary to enroll her in day care when she was just a toddler. I was nervous, too, thinking that she would be fearful or unhappy without me, but she absolutely loves her "school." The teachers are kind and loving, and she has made so many little friends. She comes home each day happy, singing new songs, and telling me about lots of fun activities. She has learned about sharing and cooperative play, something that is very important since she is an only child. The smile on her face when I arrive to pick her up assures me that she is in a good place. I'm sure that your grandson is the sunshine in your day, and you hesitate to let him go, but you will probably find that you have a plethora of new things to share with him as his horizons widen. The love that you share with your grandson will not be diminished by this experience - he will always love to come to Grandma's house; and when he brings home that first "portrait" of grandma, it will be the most valuable piece of art in your home!
Posted On 2008-03-17 19:17:02

Amy Sherman Replied: Your concerns are understandable. However, your grandson is almost 3 years old and that's a good time to encourage socialization. Futhermore, it's only two days a week that he'll be away from his usual routine. It seems as if you are feeling distressed about this because you may be losing your role or significance in the family. Just as you did with your own children, as they grew, you need to let go of your position with your grandson and let him interact with others to develop his natural independence and inquisitiveness. You will always be his grandma and have a special and important role in his life. At this time, it may be valuable for you to develop new activities with him that are unique to the two of you, so that your time together will be very significant as he gets older.
Posted On 2008-03-17 13:20:01