Patented Q & A Database


Question

As a stay at home mother of two young children, ages 4 and 16 months, what are some good ways to manage the everyday stresses of parenting?

Answer

Charlotte DeVries Replied: Yours is an ageless question among stay-at-home moms of young kids. Caring for children is one of the most demanding jobs on the planet -- psychologically, physically, socially, relationally -- not to mention the real-time work of training a child, nurturing, giving wings, modeling for them how to live in the world, and caring for their constant needs. The bottom line in all of this is that we need the support each other to handle the hard work of being a parent. The African saying is right on: It takes a village... If you're living in downtown Chicago or in the boonies of Alaska, you need to plunk yourself into some sort of regular social group that can help you build a framework of support, accountability, opportunity for mutual sharing and caring. You can read every stress management and parenting manual (and website like this very one) that is out there, and you won't get what you need -- that "village" that shares and cares and is there for you, knowing you and your child by name. Get thee to your church or synagogue, the YMCA or community center. If you absolutely cannot find a mothers' group, create one by posting a sign at one of the above mentioned sites. Take on the challenge of setting out a pot of tea, a loaf of banana bread, and your desire to become a mini-village with the one or the 10 people with children like you who show up and are looking for a way to manage just like you are. With enough work you'll find a place to meet at the above mentioned sites, but there are parks and malls out there as well where your children can play together while you adults meet each other and become an outreach to mothers just like you. Stay with it and make it a regular part of this period of your life. All my best to you!
Posted On 2007-09-13 13:05:38
Jill Wodnick Replied: Dear One, I acknowledge your work, your effort, your instincts and your walk in this world. There are true stressors that impact stay at home parents and a lot of the stressors come from meeting the needs of individual children at differenting times. Finding your breath and learning what your buttons are and how situations push them is the first and most important! Self awareness, listening to the inner tempo of your emotional body, is vital. From this self awareness, comes the ability to ask for what you need and become impeccable with your words. Finding the breath with your children and giving them tools to recognize a stressor is important. From here, unconscious and unhealthy patterns can be broken and true family health can flourish. Good for you for reaching out and knowing that your needs and your emotional balance set a tempo for your family structure.
Posted On 2007-09-13 09:11:57
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