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My 5 1/2 month old baby is a happy girl meeting her milestones. She is in daycare full time as my husband and I both work. Recently her (seasoned) daycare teacher is telling me that the baby spends alot of time "fetching" (not really crying - more like baby whining) no matter what she does with her. She says I must be holding/carrying the baby alot at home and she expects the same in daycare but the teacher feels bad because she can not practically do that with the other babies there. I'm not sure what to do. I hold her and use the Baby Bjorn at home but I also put her on the floor to play or have her in a baby chair or Bumbo chair sometimes. Can I wait this out?

Janet Whalley Replied: Since I have taken a few weeks to answer your question, you've waited it out for a while already. Though I'm sorry that your daycare provider feels guilty about your baby's behavior, in my opinion, you are not required to comfort and care for your baby less often just because of the baby's behavior at daycare. If she does need more soothing, it's nice that you can provide it when you're with her. You should enjoy your baby after work and not feel guilty for loving her and comforting her as much as you want to do. With that said, I will mention that babies goes through various developmental stages periodically during infancy. Your baby's fretting may be a way of telling you and others that something is bothering her - like the discomfort of teething. And as you implied, you can just wait and your baby will change and her needs will be different than they were a few weeks ago. In infancy, many states have a limit on the ratio of babies to daycare providers. Then as the children grow older, the limit changes. I wonder if your daycare teacher has too many babies to take care of if she can't cope with all of them. You may want to investigate what the ratio is at her daycare setting. Best wishes with parenting. It is challenging at times, but so very rewarding most of the time. Janet Whalley
Posted On 2007-08-14 16:23:31

Jill Wodnick Replied: Great question and you are a dear mother doing divine work. I would encourage you to feed him not by the clock, but by your heart. Feeding is primal and it is normal and natural for babies to need more food in eclectic times and growth spurts. This is the first time your baby is asking you to advocate for him by listening to his needs and his primal instincts...it is a delicate balance of hearing your pediatrician but also knowing that you are the expert on your own child. Your work is to trust yourself and listen to your baby with your heart and cuddle him and feed him and nurture him. It is also your work to find your own voice amidst the loud pieces of advice from outside relatives and friends. Take ownership in your own loving kindness and nurture him leaving behind the well meaning, but not always accurate or appropriate voices of others. Specifically, no baby under 6 months should have water or juice. Breastmilk and formula are the only appropriate experiences for their delicate, growing digestion systems. Please write back and keep us abreast of how your little one is doing!
Posted On 2007-07-16 09:59:43

Jill Wodnick Replied: Good for you for paying attention to the cues your little one is telling you--she needs more skin to skin contact; engagement and human relationships. Is it possible to come up with creative solutions like reducing her time in day care by 2 days and getting an in home babysitter to assist her care so she has more one on one contact? What options can you or your husband create in terms of reducing your work schedule by 6 hours a week? Also, what are her habits at night? I would urge you to try and share sleep with her at night. She is doing everything right, letting you know that she needs more engagement and her emotional body is feeling vulernable. Can you snuggle up with her in bed--this is a simple practice that many parents, especially working parents, find incredibly beneficial as it re-aligns the energetic system of mom and baby together as sleep cycles are shared. You are a divine mother and we look forward to supporting you on this path. In terms of your last question, no, do not wait this out; she is asking you to honor her needs at this moment and you will do it with grace and support. namaste.
Posted On 2007-07-16 09:44:24