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My 2nd grade daughter is very bright. Her teacher tells me how creative and interested in learning and writing she is. But she doesn't want to do her homework by herself. From the feedback I get from her teacher, she should be able to, but she wants me to help her step by step. She gets very angry and upset if I refuse. I know she's little, but I think she can do the work without me and I don't want her to get dependent on me. I think that will lead to poor study skills. I don't want to just "tune-out" and ignore her if I shouldn't.


Penny Warner Replied: You're right, she's still young, and probably feels insecure about her abilities. But rather than stop cold turkey, make the transition from helping her to her independence more smooth by backing off a little at a time. For example, make a game of it by asking: "What do you think comes next?" or offer her two choices. Praise her every time she makes a step toward independence, and over time, you should see her gain self confidence in her own work.
Posted On 2007-03-16 11:32:27
Janet Fox Replied: In 2nd grade, children are still struggling with what it means to be independent. Furthermore, what children need most is your attention. Your instinct to help her is a good one, as is your concern about her study habits. One way to manage this delicate balancing act is to help her, but not do the work for her: use questions, prompts, and other strategies to lead her to discover homework answers herself. You will be able to foster increasing independence, while monitoring her progress in case there is some skill in which she requires extra attention. Study skills need to be learned, and by teaching her how to study, with the extra help you provide now, you are building important and lasting habits.
Posted On 2007-03-14 12:00:51
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