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How to deal with sexual curiosity of 13 year old son. What is appropriate? How to discuss without making him feel bad in any way.

Dr. Georgianna Duarte Replied: The sexual curiosity of your son is natural, and language is an important tool to educate him. If you are the mother, it may be ackward, so a variety of excellent books at Borders/ Barnes & Noble offer a good foundation...and starting point of discussion. Discussions should take place at times that he chooses, and build off of his curious questions. Let him take the lead. Be sure to be ready, so I strongly recommend a book as a reference. When the information is coming from a book, the child is eager to return for further information, and is comfortable with the fact that this is such an important topic. Some books have activity based chapters. For example, make a list of all the names that are given to your penis..etc. These are effective, meaningful experiences for your son, but sprinkled a bit with humor and FACT. The body is a magnificent interesting complex system of parts, and a healthy discussion will reinforce his "feeling good" about this. Good luck.
Posted On 2007-03-09 15:17:53

Annie Fox, M. Ed. Replied: I'd be straight up in my approach while being respectful and sensitive. You might say, "I've noticed that you seem to be getting curious about sex. That's totally normal for kids you age! I'm glad you're curious. It shows you're growing up. I want you to know that it's very important to me that you get accurate information about sex. I know that sex is a big topic and there are probably lots of things you want to know. Let's talk. What are some of your questions?" Then close your mouth and LISTEN to what your son has to say. Remain neutral. Do not assume that something he's asking about is something that he's DOING! Do not judge him for the questions he asks. ("What?! You don't even know that?!") Be a safe person for him to talk to and he will continue to come to you with questions and concerns. That's exactly what every parent wants. Oh, and by the way, do not feel obligated to talk about anything personal that feels inappropriate for you to be sharing with your 13 year old. Most of what he wants and needs is factual information... not his parent's sexual history. If he asks a quesiton you don't know the answer to, then research it together. Good luck and enjoy the conversation! In friendship, Annie Fox
Posted On 2007-03-08 22:57:04