Patented Q & A Database

My 3 1/2 year old son shows an excitement in my feet that concerns me. He wants to hide under the blanket with them - he hugs, kisses them - and seems to get aroused easily when he does so. So - I basically hide my feet from him - I don't take my shoes off or let him snuggle and play with them anymore. Am I making it more of an issue by keeping it from him & hiding my feet? Should I let him play with my feet ? With otherwise have a very healthy loving relationship. Help - concerned Mom

Dr. Caron Goode Replied: About your child: I am not aware of any studies on the abnormality of toddlers and feet. Toddlers develop their fine motor skills between three and four, thus touching becomes important to them. If you have a cuddly child who likes touch, this might be his method to get it. About the situation: There is no should or should not be concern about the situation. It obviously bothers you, and if you do not want to indulge it, so stick to your decision. Your letter has some loaded words like excitement and aroused. I would ask you to define in behavioral terms: how does he act and what does it look like. You don't say if he is fine with your stopping it. If he is, then don't feel guilty about your decision. If he continues to pursue it, you might feel more comfortable seeing a mental health counselor about it.
Posted On 2004-10-08 20:07:48

Dr. Steven Kairys Replied: I believe Mom is doing the right thing by not making a big deal out of it but by avoiding situations where the child would have access- tryingto extinguish the obsession. The question is this- will it extinguish or reassert itself as another fetish-- its not unusual for children to fixate on something- the issues are- does it interfere with the relationship, does it interfere with the day to day activities and social activiites, does it make the adult uncomfortable , is it painful or destructive. Otherwise benign neglect works well and having the child distracted to other activities.
Posted On 2004-10-07 21:06:34